The Barden Bellas
by Bjorntheblorg
Summary: Oneshots with the Bellas! Crossposted from AO3, basically, I found really funny prompts on the internet and I couldn't help myself from writing them with the Bellas. Rated T for language.
1. Scared of the dark

A/N : Set during PP2 except Beca doesn't have an internship and sleeps alone. Also, everyone is OOC! Wooo lol.

Beca Mitchell wasn't scared of anything, except for the dark. Yes, it was sickeningly chlique, but there was good reason, there was nothing good in the dark. You never know what's hidden, it could be Jessica trying to find her way to her room or it could be a scorned Lily holding a chef's knife looking for a poor soul.

(Both of those have happened, and Lily found her person. No one really knows what happened afterward, even the police. All Beca knew was the person was placed into speech therapy.)

When Emily became the newest Bella Beca felt responsible for her safety since she was the most level headed of the Older Bellas.

(It didn't hurt that Emily looked up to her, and Emily was literally an aca-child.)

Somehow it became second nature for her to constantly look out for Emily, not because she was naive but because the Bellas were a hand full that took time to understand. One time she caught Emily almost taking a sip of Chloe's ginger juice, she quickly stopped that because first it was illegal, and second Chloe

Just like her and exercise, too much too soon was going to hurt something eventually.

Her habit was noticed by the other Bellas, who affectionately dubbed her "aca-mom". But, Beca felt like a failure. She couldn't be an aca-mom if she was terrified of the dark. What would happen if something happened to Emily during the night and she couldn't leave her room because the hall lights were out?

(Chloe got Aubrey to install timers on the lights in the Bella house to save on electricity (What she told Aubrey), and because it was freaking annoying to have a light on at 4 in the morning when some people are still sleeping/hungover.)

One day Beca couldn't find Lily, and she thought nothing about it until the Bellas roped her into watching a horror movie. It wasn't even Halloween or Friday the 13th, Chloe just felt like it and she put something on. Emily got the popcorn and Fat Amy brought out the drinks.

Beca watched Emily's drinks, not that the Bellas would slip her alcohol on purpose, but sometimes Emily didn't notice what she was grabbing and would accidentally Fat Amy's can of Boag instead of her Coke.

(Which didn't make sense since they looked nothing alike, but Beca didn't judge.)

That night, Beca couldn't sleep.

'Damn Aubrey, Damn these stupid timers, Damn Chloe for being nice and polite!' She cursed, opening the lamp she bought. It was small, and only lit up half the room, but it was far better than being in complete darkness.

Emily slept in the room to her right, and Chloe to her left. The ginger wanted to share a room, but because of several reasons, mostly because of Beca's crippling (and embarrassing) fear of the dark, they didn't.

Which was stupid now, because Beca couldn't sleep, her tiny lamp was too small, and her heart was pounding in her chest so hard she thought she would have a heart attack.

A heart attack sounded nice about now.

Beca blinked, and forced her eyes open, if she kept looking she couldn't get caught off guard and die. Something moved in the corner of her eye and her head twisted so fast it almost snapped.

Her window was open, but she couldn't leave her corner to close it, something might sneak up on her while her back was turned.

'Beca, relax.' She thought, trying to be as quiet as possible. 'There is nothing in the dark except the other Bellas.'

She's such a bad aca-mom, she was terrified of the dark.

'Imagine if Emily knew.' She thought. It sobered her quickly and gave her the courage to lay down and close her eyes. For a moment.

Once she gathered the courage something scrapped by her door and her eyes flew open. Her heart almost exploded in her chest and she looked around. It was 11:43pm, but luckily she had no classes the next day.

"Moooooooooooom!" Emily yelled, Emily took to being an aca-child well, even going so far as to call Beca and Chloe her aca-parents.

"Yes?" Both Co-Captains called out.

"There's a monster under my bed!"

It must have been the movie, her shot nerves, and her over protectiveness but Beca screamed in terror. "SHUT THE FUCK UP IT CAN HEAR YOU!"

Two sets of feet ran to her door while Beca sat there in complete terror. She had just told Emily to "shut the fuck up." The aca-child.

Chloe gently smiled at her, tackling her with a hug. Even after that her girlfriend's first thought was to comfort her. Chloe was the only other Bella who knew Beca's secret, she accidentally found out when Beca refused to get her electricity cut.

(Chloe cut the hall anyway, but kept the electricity flowing to Beca's room.)

"Beca are you okay?"

"Yeah." The fear caught up to her and she began crying, the stress slowly melting off her shoulders.

Emily stood in the hallway, unsure how to react. Chloe quickly motioned her in, and explained the situation.

"I'm a horrible aca-mom!" Beca sobbed. "I'm afraid of the dark! You can't be a good mom if your afraid of the dark! Chloe! What about our children? They're going to have a pus…"

"Beca!" Chloe said firmly. "You will be a great mom."

"Yeah, you're an awesome aca-mom." Emily smiled. "I'm sorry if I bothered you…"

"No dude, I uh, just yeah." Beca shrugged defeated. "I'm sorry I yelled at you dude. It was really funny and I have no chill."

"I thought it was really funny," Emily said, sitting at the foot of Beca's bed. "But, I got worried when your voice broke."

Beca gave a watery laugh and Chloe slid into Beca's bed.

"Let's have a aca-family sleepover." Chloe said smiling. "Come on Em."

This is a cross-post from AO3. This prompt comes from the IncorrectBardenBellas tumblr. All prompts and links can be found on my AO3 work.


	2. Oh my aca-gee

"Oh aca-gee." Emily sighed looking at the mess she made.

It was Saturday, and Emily had no classes so she decided to make some cookies for all the Bellas. Also, she was bored to tears because Beca refused to take her anywhere on campus because apparently Stacie was out "hunting" and it wasn't safe.

She dropped the butter, just one stick, but it was soft and melted already so it splattered everywhere on the floor.

Trying to pick it up, she realized she needed a rag when it kept squeezing out of her grasp so she stood, and hit the cup of flour she was about to use.

At least they had more butter and flour, but buttery flour was such a pain to clean up.

"Gosh." She swore as she fished around the kitchen cabinet for the broom.

"Emily!" Beca roared from the living room where she and Chloe were cuddling. "Watch your fucking language goddamn!"

Emily yelped and dropped her broom into the buttery mess. Gosh! Now the handle was buttered up and slippery!

"Where did she fucking learn it from?" Chloe sobbed into Beca's chest. "We're such shitty parents!"

"Honey don't say that." Beca whispered, rubbing Chloe's back. "Don't worry, we'll straighten her out. Aubrey runs a corrections camp right? We can send her there."

Emily looked at them, frowned, and shrugged. They were both so weird.

* * *

Chloe: Emily said a bad word in class.

Beca: Where the fuck did she learn that?

Emily: Oh, fiddlesticks.

Fat Amy: Look, I understand that this is a tense situation but let's watch the fucking language.

Two Prompts in one

post/164983960785/chloe-emily-said-a-bad-word-in-class-beca-where

post/164690538473/emily-oh-fiddlesticks-fat-amy-look-i


	3. What did you do?

"Aubrey Posen speaking." Aubrey wasn't a stranger to random calls in the middle of… whenever really.

Ever since the Bellas returned to Barden since summer everyone on campus has had a complaint or so about the Bellas. Even the Bellas.

So, being the captain most likely to pick up the phone (She loved Chloe and such took over the complaints department) she had been on the end of most "talks" about Bella behavior.

Yes, she loved the Bellas, but there was only so much a human could handle. There was a reason she had 'Bella Rules', it wasn't because she hated the Bellas it was because she was going to lose her gosh darn motherfucking mind.

"It's Emily."

"Oh my aca-god what did Emily do?"

She knew this was going to happen, damn it! How could she let Beca be in charge of the most normal person on this team? Scratch that, how could she let the Bellas corrupt the most normal person on this team? Emily was just awkward, and that was normal!

Where in the aca-hell was Beca? Aubrey was about to send her there.

"No, it's me Emily?"

"What did they make you do?" Aubrey shrieked.

"Uhm… Nothing?"

"Oh, that's good." Aubrey said, pressing her fingers against her throat. "How are you?"

"I'm pretty good. I'm calling because I need some help with my Math homework and Chloe said you'd be able to help."

"Yes. Math homework." Just because Aubrey had to ask. "Are you really Emily?"

"Yes?"

"Just making sure."


End file.
